Where Do I Belong

Today, I walked away from church feeling deeply discouraged.

I had been looking forward to attending a connect group which was introduced by a mutual friend. It wasn’t just any group; it was specifically created for domestic workers. Now, I’m not a domestic helper, and I’m not even a member of the church. But something in me felt drawn to this space. I hesitated at first, unsure if I’d belong, but I decided to show up anyway.

And I’m so glad I did.

The women I met there were full of life, faith, and joy, despite carrying many personal challenges. They made me feel at home. I wasn’t there for food or support services. I was there for connection. For authenticity. And that’s exactly what I found.

So I politely declined the church’s earlier offer to match me with a “more suitable” group—one they felt might be better aligned with my background or life stage. What I needed was not similarity, but sincerity.

But before the connect session even started, the group leader (a local church member) pulled me aside. She quickly asked if she could redirect me to another group again, with the best intentions, I’m sure. I explained that I appreciated the offer, but I felt truly comfortable here. Her response? The church sponsors food for these ladies because they are of low-income, and since I wasn’t in that category, I didn’t really “fit.”

That conversation left me unsettled.

Because here’s the thing: the same church organizes free dinners for new believers, to help them feel welcomed and plugged in. So why is it okay to offer free meals to attract newcomers, but not okay to extend that same hospitality to a fellow believer who happens to connect with a group outside her expected “category”?

Was this really about food or about fitting into a box?

Ironically, that day’s sermon was about building meaningful connections, not just following religious rituals. But what I experienced felt more like managing optics than embodying grace.

I know I’m not the only one who has walked into a church hoping to belong, only to walk out wondering if I ever did.

And maybe that’s why I believe God is raising a remnant in these days. People who don’t care about titles or tiers. People who carry His heart, not just His vocabulary. People who sit at the tables others avoid and build bridges where others draw lines.

We are not meant to fit into man-made categories. We are called to love freely, fully, and without conditions.